Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
