There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
