All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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