apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
