Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize