It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
