the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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