K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I fill condoms, not promises.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
