dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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