All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
There are leaves in my underwear?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize