why didn't you poke me back
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize