All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
