I accidentally burped into my bong.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize