I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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