That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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