I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
