So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
