Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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