Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I touched a dick in church today
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
