I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
