so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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