I think my fart just growled at me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
