Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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