Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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