i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
