Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
