I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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