I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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