Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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