So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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