Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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