Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
