My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
