Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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