So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
