Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
