her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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