Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Randomize
