yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
