Buhtt sex?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
