u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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