Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
