hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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