I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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