Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
