Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's never too late to be topless.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize