I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
