____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
