so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize