WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
MIDGETS
????
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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