We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
