If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
