it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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