Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
