i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
