doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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