You just made me feel so damn special
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
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