took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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