Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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