he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize