and you said cock pushups were impossible
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
