he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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