girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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