Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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