Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
