Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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