I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
