Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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