if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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