Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
